I Asked The AI Chatbot To Compose A Rap Of American Airlines Dissing United

Artificial intelligence has seen real breakthroughs. I don’t think we fully grasp yet just how far the science has come. But millions of people are getting their first self-aware glimpse via the free AI Chatbot. To be sure, much of our interactions with our phone and Google involve AI. And Tesla and Amazon have some pretty impressive projects. But does it really hit home until you have the ability to auto-generate a rap battle between airlines in under a second?

Verse 1:
United Airlines, you’re the worst of the bunch
Leaving passengers stranded and their luggage left to punch
Delays and cancellations, it’s like a never-ending game
You treat your customers like they’re nothing but a pain

Chorus:
United Airlines, you’re a disgrace
Treating people like they’re just another face
American Airlines, you’re the better choice
Treating customers with a human voice

Verse 2:
United Airlines, you’re the king of excuses
Overbooked flights and lost baggage, it’s all just a ruse
You claim to care about the customer’s needs
But it’s clear you only care about your own greed

Chorus:
United Airlines, you’re a disgrace
Treating people like they’re just another face
American Airlines, you’re the better choice
Treating customers with a human voice

Verse 3:
United Airlines, you’re the master of frustration
Long lines and cramped seats, a true disappointment
Your service leaves much to be desired
But American Airlines sets the bar higher

Chorus:
United Airlines, you’re a disgrace
Treating people like they’re just another face
American Airlines, you’re the better choice
Treating customers with a human voice

Outro:
United Airlines, you’re the bottom of the barrel
Time to step up your game and treat customers like they’re not just a hassle
American Airlines, you’re the one to trust
Treating customers with respect, something United will never do.

Then I asked for a limerick.

For good measure, I asked it to slam Marriott Bonvoy,

Verse 1:
Marriott Bonvoy, you’re a sorry excuse
For a loyalty program that’s supposed to be top-notch
Points that expire and blackout dates, it’s all just a joke
You treat your loyal customers like they’re a burden to cope

Chorus:
Marriott Bonvoy, you’re a disgrace
Failing to deliver on the promises you make
Other hotel chains offer better rewards
Marriott Bonvoy, you’re just a fraud

Verse 2:
Marriott Bonvoy, you claim to have it all
But your rewards are nothing but a cheap facade
Complicated rules and lack of transparency
You’re just a con artist in the hospitality industry

Chorus:
Marriott Bonvoy, you’re a disgrace
Failing to deliver on the promises you make
Other hotel chains offer better rewards
Marriott Bonvoy, you’re just a fraud

Verse 3:
Marriott Bonvoy, you’re the worst of the bunch
Your customer service is nothing but a punch in the gut
Long wait times and unhelpful staff
You’re the reason why people avoid Marriott like the plague

Chorus:
Marriott Bonvoy, you’re a disgrace
Failing to deliver on the promises you make
Other hotel chains offer better rewards
Marriott Bonvoy, you’re just a fraud

Outro:
Marriott Bonvoy, it’s time for a change
Treat your customers with respect and offer rewards that are not so strange
Other hotel chains have it figured out
But Marriott Bonvoy, you’re just a flop without a doubt.

I just can’t stop myself. I asked it to “create a song about chase sapphire preferred.”

Verse 1:
Chase Sapphire Preferred, you’re the credit card of choice
With generous rewards and flexibility, you give me a voice
To earn and redeem points on all my favorite things
Travel, dining, and shopping, you make it all worthwhile

Chorus:
Chase Sapphire Preferred, you’re the best in the game
With your 2x points on travel and dining, you’re never to blame
For high fees or complicated rules, you make it all so simple
Chase Sapphire Preferred, you’re my go-to credit card, that’s no idle

Verse 2:
Chase Sapphire Preferred, you offer peace of mind
With your trip cancellation and interruption insurance, I know I’ll be fine
No matter where my travels take me, you’ve got my back
And with your 24/7 customer service, I know I won’t lack

Chorus:
Chase Sapphire Preferred, you’re the best in the game
With your 2x points on travel and dining, you’re never to blame
For high fees or complicated rules, you make it all so simple
Chase Sapphire Preferred, you’re my go-to credit card, that’s no idle

Verse 3:
Chase Sapphire Preferred, you make my wallet happy
With your no foreign transaction fees and luxury hotel benefits, it’s never a pity
To use you on my adventures near and far
Chase Sapphire Preferred, you’re the shining star

Chorus:
Chase Sapphire Preferred, you’re the best in the game
With your 2x points on travel and dining, you’re never to blame
For high fees or complicated rules, you make it all so simple
Chase Sapphire Preferred, you’re my go-to credit card, that’s no idle

Outro:
Chase Sapphire Preferred, thank you for all you do
From earning and redeeming points to providing peace of mind, I’m so grateful to you
You make my travels and daily expenses more rewarding and fun
Chase Sapphire Preferred, you’re number one.

Then I requested ‘an ode to business class’

Verse 1:
Oh business class, how I love thee
With your spacious seats and endless amenities
From the moment I step on board, I feel like a queen
No more cramped quarters, I can stretch out and relax, I’m serene

Chorus:
Business class, you’re the way to travel
Comfort and luxury, you unravel
The stress of flying and make it all worthwhile
Business class, you’re my favorite way to fly, by a mile

Verse 2:
Business class, you make my journey grand
With your gourmet meals and fine wine, I’m in high demand
For attentive service and a pleasant experience
Business class, you exceed my expectations, with no pretense

Chorus:
Business class, you’re the way to travel
Comfort and luxury, you unravel
The stress of flying and make it all worthwhile
Business class, you’re my favorite way to fly, by a mile

Verse 3:
Business class, you’re a cut above the rest
With your lie-flat seats and ample legroom, I feel like the best
No more cramped quarters or noisy neighbors
Business class, you make my journey a pleasure, like no other

Chorus:
Business class, you’re the way to travel
Comfort and luxury, you unravel
The stress of flying and make it all worthwhile
Business class, you’re my favorite way to fly, by a mile

Outro:
Business class, I thank you for all you do
From comfort and luxury to attentive service, you make my journey anew
No more cramped quarters or long haul flights
Business class, you’re the only way to travel, with all your delights.

But I preferred a haiku.

Comfort and luxury
Lie-flat seats and attentive service
Business class, I love thee.

Then I asked it to rewrite Bohemian Rhapsody to be about a business traveler.

Verse 1:
Is this the real life? Is this just business travel?
I’m flying high, feeling like a king
I’ve got my laptop and my noise-canceling headphones
I’m off to a conference, I’m ready to make some deals

Chorus:
Business traveler, oh business traveler
I’m just a poor boy, I need a good night’s sleep
I’m easy come, easy go, a little high, a little low
Any way the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me

Verse 2:
I see a lounge, oh God, I see it all
I’m just a poor boy, I need a little break
I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me
I’m just a poor boy, from a poor family

Chorus:
Business traveler, oh business traveler
I’m just a poor boy, I need a good night’s sleep
I’m easy come, easy go, a little high, a little low
Any way the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me

Bridge:
Mama, just killed a layover
Put my headphones on and listened to some tunes
I’m just a poor boy, nobody loves me
He’s just a poor boy from a poor family

Chorus:
Business traveler, oh business traveler
I’m just a poor boy, I need a good night’s sleep
I’m easy come, easy go, a little high, a little low
Any way the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me

Outro:
Business traveler, oh business traveler
I don’t want to die
Sometimes I wish I’d never gone on this business trip at all.

I was really excited by the chatbot, until I realized it basically makes this site superfluous when I asked it to “write a short essay on why airport club lounges are so crowded.”

Airport club lounges are often crowded for a number of reasons. One reason is that more and more people are traveling by air, which means that there are more people at the airport and therefore more people looking to access airport club lounges. Another reason is that many airlines and credit card companies offer access to airport club lounges as a benefit or perk, which means that more people are eligible to use them. Additionally, airport club lounges are often seen as a convenient and comfortable place to relax and wait for flights, which can make them a popular choice among travelers. All of these factors can contribute to airport club lounges being crowded.

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